Children today often grow up with many comforts. As parents, we try to give them a safe home, good food, toys, activities, education, and opportunities we may not have had ourselves.
That is why it can feel disappointing when they focus mainly on what they cannot have.
When screen time ends, they may become emotional. When it is time to do homework instead of playing, they may complain. When they do not receive the toy, snack, or activity they wanted, the disappointment can suddenly feel enormous.
We may remind them:
“You already have so much.”
“There are many good things in your life.”
“One small disappointment should not ruin your whole day.”
But children do not always understand these reminders in the same way adults do.
Children See What Is Happening Right Now
A child who has just lost screen time may not be thinking about their family, friends, home, health, school, toys, or all the enjoyable moments they had earlier.
They are focused on the one thing that has changed.
This does not necessarily mean they are ungrateful. It often means that the immediate disappointment feels much larger than everything else at that moment.
Children are still learning how to:
- manage disappointment
- accept limits
- handle rejection
- see a problem in proportion
- remember the positive things that remain
These skills take time, conversation, and repeated practice.
Rather than simply telling children that they should be grateful, we can help them see the balance for themselves.
Why Learning to Treasure What We Have Matters
Children will not always receive what they want.
They may not be chosen first. A friend may be unavailable. A favourite toy may break. Their screen time may end. A family plan may change.
When children learn to notice what remains—not only what is missing—they may find it easier to recover from these moments.
They begin to understand:
“I am disappointed, but I still have many important things in my life.”
The goal is not to tell children that they should never feel sad or upset. Their feelings still matter.
The goal is to help them recognise that one difficult moment does not remove everything good around them.
A Mini Activity Parents Can Do Together With Children
We created Treasure What I Have, a simple interactive activity that parents and children can complete together.
The activity uses blocks and a balance scale to help children visualise the different parts of their life.
First, ask your child to name things they have.
These may include:
- parents or family
- friends
- a home
- school
- pets
- toys
- hobbies
- health
- favourite foods
- time together
- books
- holidays
- screen time
Do not worry about whether an answer is too big, too small, serious, or silly. Let your child decide what feels important.
Next, give each item a weight.
For example:
- Family — 100
- Friends — 70
- Toys — 30
- School — 40
- Screen time — 20
There is no correct weight. The purpose is to encourage your child to think about how much each part of life matters to them.
Move the Smaller Things to the Other Side
Once the blocks have been created, they begin on the What I Have side.
You can then move one block to the What I Don’t Have side.
For example, move screen time to the other side and ask:
- What changed?
- What do you still have?
- Is the whole balance gone?
- Are there still things that can make today good?
- Which things on the other side are more important?
The scale and face will change according to the weight of the blocks.
Children can see that losing one small thing may affect their mood, but it does not always outweigh their family, friends, home, health, and other important parts of life.
You can also explore larger changes together. The activity is not meant to tell children how they must feel. It is a starting point for conversation.
Let Children Explain Their Choices
Try not to correct every weight immediately.
A child may give a toy a surprisingly high number. Instead of saying that the number is wrong, ask:
“Why is this important to you?”
Their answer may reveal that the toy reminds them of someone, helps them feel safe, or is connected to a special memory.
The value of the activity comes from the discussion, not from producing a perfect result.
Parents may also discover which parts of life their child values most—and which relationships or experiences may need more attention.
Try the Activity Together
Set aside a little quiet time and complete the activity with your child.
Ask questions, listen to their reasoning, and explore how the balance changes. The activity can be repeated whenever your child is struggling with disappointment or focusing heavily on something they cannot have.
Try the Treasure What I Have activity here.
We hope this simple activity helps families have more meaningful conversations and reminds children that even when one thing changes, there may still be many important things in life worth treasuring.
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