You see them at pickup and ask, “How was school? What did you do? Who did you play with?” They say, “Nothing.” You’ve asked three questions and somehow received one answer for the whole school day.
Try one small question, at a moment when they’re ready to talk. “How was school?” can mean summing up six hours of their life while they’re hungry, carrying a bag and trying to spot where you parked. A snack and a quiet walk home can be a better start.
Five questions to try instead of “How was school?”
- “What made you laugh today?”
- “What was the first thing you did at break?”
- “Was anything different in your classroom today?”
- “If I’d been at lunch with you, what would I have seen?”
- “Was there a bit you’d want to do again tomorrow?”
Pick one. If they tell you about a banana that fell out of somebody’s lunchbox, stay with the banana. It’s the part of the day they chose to tell you about. I’d take that over rushing to ask what they learned.
When I’d leave it for later
Some kids talk more while they’re drawing, walking or helping put things away. You can offer a detail from your own day first: “I dropped my toast butter-side down this morning.” Then leave a gap. If you’re worried something specific happened, check in about that gently rather than trying to tease it out through a game.
For another way to start a conversation, try the question game in Do Our Kids Really Know Us?.
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